Jalapeño Poppers

During our visit to home, my dad, David, a veteran US history teacher, politico, expert gardener & food enthusiast made us a batch of his infamous knock-you-out poppers. Here's his take on the Texan treat:

"'Hot damn!' (pronounced hod-am in Texas), the appropriate verbal descriptor for this bacon-encrusted cheese-stuffed jalapeño flare, should be said right after the requisite pull on your Long Star longneck. The latter should be right at 33 degrees to make up for the sensation of the former being 1000 degrees.

Lying deep in the northeast corner of the state, north of the Sabine and south of the Red, is an area locals call Fredonia*. The area was named after the 1825 republic declared by filibuster (expansionist), Hayden Edwards, one year after the Monroe Doctrine was announced to a bemused Europe. Those early US adventurers (spies) like Edwards set the precedent for US intervention into other countries's territories (or more to the point, business). And how sadly fitting that that wrong turn early in our nation's foreign policy finds its genesis in an area now described as being "behind the pine curtain." Apparently the deep roots of our outlook are not only found in New England Puritans, but also in those proudly ignorant Texans. Watch Fox News, you'll get it....

But Fredonia is also an area that has progressive promise. The culture is beginning to heal itself. The region once claimed by Spain, then France, then Spain, then Mexico, then US southerners calling themselves Texians looking for more territory for their slave based economy, is now rediscovering its its heritage's admix of Mexican, Southern US, and French. There's a young local winery, Enoch's Stomp, in Harleton, Texas, using French viticulture, mixed in with our southern fried chicken and catfish restaurants of local legend and national fame. Now even the new Mexican taco stands are becoming ubiquitous, making this area fertile ground for cutting-edge locavores. In short, it's all here as far as food and drink.

The popper is one symbol of this fusion. And although it has gained deep acceptance in 'Fredonia' with its lush summer shrubs of jalapeño plants bearing massive peppers, the origins of the 'popper' (the real one, not the ones you find in the freezer case at your local culinary/environmental/economic disasters like Walmart) are in Buffalo Gap, a little community south of Abilene named for the gap in the mesa ridges cutting south of Abilene. The Indians would hunt buffalo as they herded themselves through 'the gap.' Tom Perini, a local celebrated chuck-wagon cook, cum restaurateur, cum caterer to the prior president when he was entertaining the likes of Putin in Crawford, is credited with creating the popper. Although this version has been augmented with a few additional spices and chilies, the recipe is his and can be found in his important cookbook (at least to us Fredonians) with the sleepy name of 'Cowboy Cooking.'"

Jalapeño Poppers, makes 24

1 dzn. jalapeños, say 4-6 inches long
1 dzn. rashers (slices) of bacon
1 8 oz. packet of neufchatel or cream cheese
Worcestershire sauce or Vietnamese fish sauce if you want to have a secret cutting edge flavor to taste (both are the results of unpleasant things regarding fish remains, so what the hell..., right?)
Cavender's All Purpose Greek Seasoning to taste (or your favorite "all purpose" seasoning)
dried chipotle peppers, very finely minced to taste (this can be found in large containers in large box stores, but it's against my religion to go in one of those places.... remember locavorism)
24 toothpicks for securing the bacon wrap

Preheat oven to 475F (hot as hell to get the bacon crispy). There are two things you cut in half. The peppers, horizontally, making a little boat for stuffing with cheese, and the bacon, vertically, for wrapping around this delight. After cutting the peppers open, remove the seeds and interior veins.**

Stuff each jalapeno with cheese so that is level full. Then, splash a dash of Worcestershire (or that secret fish sauce ingredient mentioned above). Now top that with the minced chipotle. Wrap each popper in the half strip of bacon, secure it with a toothpick, and sprinkle it with Cavenders All-Purpose Greek Seasoning.

Bake for about 20 or 30 minutes. Let these guys cool off a few minutes. Open that very cold beer, take a bite, a sip, and "Hot damn!"

* This Fredonian of the land "behind the pine curtain" mentioned above, wishes to clarify the fact that there is no relationship between our northeast Texas Fredonia and any so-called Fredonian of the separatist militia type that our governor, Rick "Good-hair" Perry, so recently encouraged with his remarkable remarks, demonstrating an embarrassing misunderstanding of the nature of the US Constitution and the historical implications of the last attempt at states leaving the Union. We true Fredonians, on the other hand, generally believe in locavorism, environmentalism, fine slow living, and minding our own business.

**A note on fresh juicy dangerous jalapenos, if you aren't over fifty with crab claw paws like mine you may want to wear rubber dishwashing gloves when de-seeding/de-veining them. I usually don't and have come to find that applying cold beer internally generally helps. By the way, these peppers are said to have originated in the area around Jalapa/Xalapa, the state capital of Veracruz, Mexico.

Last image, kill the gluten.